Rabbi's Chayva's Chat

I’ve made no secret about my interfaith family of origin. Part of my extended family is Protestant, which is why Dr. Keren McGinity’s talk last Shabbat was quite personal for me. Dr. McGinity is the inaugural Interfaith Specialist of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, the national organization of Conservative congregations, and she led us through a study of the changing portrayal of interfaith heterosexual couples in twentieth century film and television. First, Jewish women were portrayed as exotic and ethnic, often courted by Catholic men. Next, in the post-war period, Jewish men were portrayed as desirable husbands who were able to assimilate into Protestant American society - perhaps reflecting the Jewish male writers, producers, and directors who wanted their own life choices normalized by the silver screen. 

Dr. McGinity covered a lot of ground and I won’t summarize it all, but I was struck by her final pitch for empathy. Not that empathy is surprising in itself, but she raised it regarding the tension between Hanukkah and Christmas in interfaith families called “The December Dilemma.” Dr. McGinity encouraged us to rename this “The December Delights,” and to honor all parts of a family or couple’s religious and cultural composition. She emphasized that even when someone has converted, their family hasn’t converted with them, and their childhood memories (perhaps of Christmas) remain. When we remember and respect that, when we invite non-judgmental conversation about it, we do not lessen the Jewishness of our community or ourselves; rather, we live our Jewish values. If you know or are part of an interfaith extended family, as many of us are at Am Tikvah, I encourage you to be proud, inquisitive, and respectful in the coming week. And regardless of your family or personal identity, I encourage you to join the Southside Jewish Collaborative on Sunday, December 24, when we will do a Mussar study of goodheartedness and the mitzvah of making sandwiches for homeless residents of San Francisco. May it be a week of respect, generosity, and goodheartedness.