Rabbi's Chayva's Chat

NOTE: Originally emailed on October 18, 2023.

Many people are familiar with the Jewish stages of grief that start with the week of shiva, move on to the month of shloshim, the eleven months of saying kaddish, and then the ritual of observing the yahrzeit, the annual anniversary of passing. But before all these stages, there is a period called aninut, between death and burial. During aninut, the family of the deceased are released from all obligations except for preparing for the funeral and burial. All their physical needs are taken care of by their community. They are allowed to feel whatever they might feel, and one does not greet them with, "How are you doing?" Because how could they answer that? 

Last week, the global Jewish community sat in a collective state of aninut. We were in shock, and the only thing we could do was express that shock and come together. Now we might still hold that sense of shock and grief, but it is complicated by the layers of anxiety, concern, and the dissonance with the continuation of our daily lives. Though our feelings might be less acute, we must continue to navigate this new stage together, in community. I look forward to coming together this weekend in community, and if you would like to speak with me one on one, my door is always open.